47)
They walked on for some time in silence; Alex was still overtaken by adrenaline from the encounter with the Grurgk. It wasn’t long before he realised that night was falling and all of a sudden he felt very tired. Allura sensed this and said: “I get the feeling that you will be able to sleep anywhere tonight, young Paige.” Allura said smiling. “You won’t need to worry about finding your ‘spot’ to sleep in, everywhere will be beneficial to you here.” Alex smiled in gratitude. “The reason these woods feel so calm and peaceful, Creator, is that this is the home of the Faire; they protect this wood and others, and they are all around us. I can see them, when they allow me to and I’m sure that, in time, they will allow you to see them too.”
Alex felt a little spooked by this; he wasn’t completely comfortable with invisible creatures frolicking around him. He also found it difficult to visualise anything other than the stereotypical pictures of Fairies that he’d seen in books.
“That is why I said for you to keep an open mind, Alex.” Allura remarked. “It is important that you see the Faire as they truly are for they can help you on your quest. I’m not sure how they will be able to work with your stubborn nature, but they will find a way.”
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up in alarm at this and Allura laughed at the look on Alex’s face. “You needn’t worry unduly, Creator.” She mocked gently. “They will not do anything to harm you – that is not their way.”
“What will they do?” He asked warily.
“I don’t know.” Allura replied. “Besides, even if I did know..”
“You wouldn’t tell me.” Alex interrupted.
“Not out of malice or to inconvenience you, Alex.” Allura tried to explain. “If I told you how they would attempt to communicate with you then you will be prejudiced and expect that to happen.”
“And my mind would be closed to anything else.” Alex remarked, now understanding.
“Yes, precisely.” Allura was pleased that he was now well on his way to walking his path. “None of this is personal, Creator; it is not to be taken as an attack on you or your character; these are all learning curves. As I have already explained to you, it will be possible for you to gain information from your surroundings; you will be in direct communication with Bellkipeg whenever you are centred.”
“Do you mean I need to become aware of others energies and attuning to their particular frequency?”
“Sounds almost easy, doesn’t it Creator?” Allura asked.
“No,” He disagreed, “if anything it sounds harder than ever. Putting it into language makes it seem more intangible, unattainable, even.”
“That is the main problem with language.” Allura conceded. “How can you use language to explain concepts that can only be felt.”
“And you are starting to understand the difference between feeling and thinking, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to hear me now.” Alex was surprised to hear Allura’s voice inside his own, as if she had beamed them directly into his brain.
“Yes,” Allura agreed, speaking once again. “And that’s exactly what I just did. If you were not open to that then you would not be open to the Faire.” Alex nodded slowly, it almost made sense to him. “The fact that I was able to read your thoughts so easily was an indication to your change in spirit. But be warned, being open in itself can leave you vulnerable to other influences.” Alex knew the risks involved. “However I feel that the Faire will be able to help with that.” She remarked. Alex still felt a little nervous about the prospect of meeting an invisible creature. Allura chuckled. “Sometimes your concepts are so rigid they’re almost as stubborn as you. If you have a hard and fast view of the world then you will never see anything, but if you become more flexible and open to the world around you then great vistas will suddenly become known to you. At the moment I can see you struggle, and I can also see the fear start to creep into your shell.” Alex could only smile sheepishly at Allura’s perceptiveness. “Think about it this way, Alex… You have faced the most fearsome of Grugrks, defeated the Vaurac and held your ground against the Deluge! How can you be frightened of anything else?”
48)
Allura was right, and it was something that Alex had never allowed himself to feel. There was no need to be scared, and this revelation allowed him to step completely out of his shell, for it was his shell that felt fear; that stumbled along in all its rigid beliefs. The true self had no need of rigidity, it flowed.
Alex didn’t even notice Allura walk away from him, she saw that Alex had reached his still point and smiled. She wouldn’t be far away, should anything untoward happen. The Faire could be unpredictable but that depended very much on Alex, and his reactions.
Alex, for his part, had withdrawn from the fear and confusion that he’d felt previously; now he felt at peace. The difference between how he had felt, trapped in his shell, was remarkable; the world felt more alive, more vibrant, almost pulsing with energy. It would be so easy for him to detach from the world completely, to just let himself drift off into the green that surrounded him, but he needed to find the Mirror of Sfel. He had responsibilities, and being detached from the world around him was as much a trap as the shell was, he could see that now.
Onyx was so right when he accused Alex of indulging too much, and he was allowing himself to be distracted again. He smiled at his new mindset, had he really changed this much?
Something moved suddenly; he caught a quick flash of motion out of the corner of his eye and he shifted his attention to where he discerned the source to be. It was then that he remembered Allura’s advice about being distracted and he shifted his perceptions again, and started to scan the area around him.
Allura had seen the Faire move around him, so gently at first so not to disturb him; their sense of timing and grace impeccable. Then when he had shifted his awareness levels one of them moved and caught his attention. Alex had nearly fallen into their trap which could have proven costly to him, but at the last second he had remembered her teachings and scanned the area. He might even survive this.
49)
Alex scanned around him, allowing his eyes to become crossed as Allura and Onyx had taught him. The air around had taken a smoky consistency; that seemed odd to him, so he quickly shifted his vision back to normal and was surprised to find that there was not a trace of smoke to be found. In some places there was an unholy pinkish glow which seemed initially enticing but made him feel nauseous at the same time.
He was dismayed to find that he was almost surrounded by the smoky atmosphere but there was one small gap in the smoke, a corridor which stretched out in a westerly direction, just large enough for a person to walk through.
He walked slowly along the clear corridor, being careful with each and every footfall. It wasn’t long before Alex stopped walking; he felt as if he needed to scan the area again. He turned to face the way he had just walked and was alarmed to see that the smoke had filled in behind him, cutting him off; there was no way back for him now. He continued scanning trying to push away the paranoia and fear he felt welling up inside of him; now was not a time to give in to those feelings. As long as he kept on scanning the area around him he would be able to escape.
Alex walked through the corridor for a few feet until he realised that the way ahead was blocked by more smoke. Letting out a sigh of dejection he scanned his immediate environment again. This was starting to become tedious, not to mention hopeless. He truthfully wondered whether it would be better to just sit down and wait for the smoke to claim him. The only place that was still clear was a lone oak tree, so he walked over to it and sat down with his back to the mighty trunk, pulling his knees tightly close to him.
He couldn’t understand what was going on; were the Faire folk testing him? He had no idea what he needed to do next – if this was a test then why wasn’t the next step obvious? He let out another sigh of resignation and hugged his knees for comfort. It was then that he saw movement from the corner of his eye, this time it was from his left. Alex couldn’t tell what it was, but it was enough to snap him out of his feelings of dejection.
His sudden mood swings were uncharacteristic; especially after all he’d been through recently, and they only seemed to happen when he shifted back into his shell; when he stayed centered in himself then he was unaffected by them.
He sat down and let his eyes go unfocused again, scanned his surroundings. As he did so he noticed two things: the first was the strength that he felt coursing through him, he felt anchored to the world around him; he felt himself growing roots and drawing the very strength from the oak behind him.
No sooner had he sat down then he felt something sharp dig into his backside. Reaching down underneath him he felt around for the object. Bizarrely enough he found a roughly chipped black arrow head made of a curious material. It wasn’t metal as he was expecting but something hard like stone that shimmered with a knowing power. He held it in his palm and looked into its depths, losing himself in the contours. Closing his fingers around it he was swept away in waves of serenity and wholeness. Like the carved brown elephant before it, this arrowhead made Alex feel more powerful within himself.
Opening his eyes he saw a clear corridor unfold before him, this time without having to consciously squint, his eyes naturally focusing themselves. He pushed himself up off the ground, and placed the arrowhead in his right pocked. He wasn’t surprised to find that he was now facing an easterly direction; it all made perfect sense now.
Being careful not to give into the new feelings of power, he walked along the corridor and could now see that the fog was becoming more opaque. Night had descended fully now, and he was able to see by star and moonlight now; the wood took on a wholly magical countenance in this pure, silvery light.
Every now and then Alex noticed rapid movements as if small animals were running through the bushes around him. He wondered if it was the Faire folk come to encourage him on his initiation. He marveled at their fleetness and almost became spellbound by their presence and nearly lost his focus of attention. Had he not come to his senses he would surely have carried on walking right through the smoke in front of him. He smiled at their ingenuity, they were trying to distract him by using his new abilities against him. If he had been overconfident or lost in their distractions he would surely have come to harm.
The light faded as clouds progressed across the moonlit sky. He could barely make out the tree that he was resting against, and he started scrabbling around for the totem in the leaf-littered wood floor and soon his hands were worn and bloodied from searching in the dark.
The feelings of helplessness welled up inside of him again, but he pushed them back down determined not to let the Faire folk beat him. He imagined them looking at him, scrutinising his every move with amusement. Allura must be there too, chuckling to herself at this “Lightbringer” who couldn’t even see in the dark. Alex felt the bile rise in his throat as he choked back the angry tears. He could feel his anger build like a volcano and for once he didn’t know how to stop it.
All of a sudden he felt something dig into his leg, it was the carving of the arrow. He hurriedly pulled it out of his pocket and sat back in a cross-legged position, clasping it in his cupped hands. He couldn’t believe that he had almost succumbed to the fear and anger yet again; it had been so incessant and had actually gorged on his pride.
It was insidious, sneaking up, disguising itself as the positive emotions that he had come to equate to his true self. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he used the carving to calm himself once again, brushing all the petty insecurities aside. It was then that the moon peeked through the clouds and bathed the wood in its welcome glow again.
Right in front of him, not more than a few feet away, stood a small mound of earth; on top of the mound lay a silver ring, glinting in the moonlight. Embedded in the ring lay three diagonal inlays of the most vividly red crystal Alex had ever seen. It was as if the ring had trapped three distinct flames in its silver. He picked it up, and instinctively placed it on his little finger where it fit snugly. He felt a huge surge of strength and determination. He understood exactly what had just happened, he had gotten lost in the glamour of his new found abilities when he should really have kept himself centred.
Logically speaking there was only one more direction that Alex would have to walk, but he made sure by scanning the area around him just to make certain and to kick that cocky part of his shell into line. There was no way that he would let his personality be determined by the shell anymore, he couldn’t allow it.
Sure enough, there was a gap in the smoke leading back southwards, and as he walked on he could see Allura in the distance smiling at him.
No comments:
Post a Comment