75)
Was it the bite of the salty air on his face that woke him, or the sound of the waves crashing on the shore? It was like a crowd of people applauding his shift to consciousness. It may even have been the smell of the ozone and the taste of the brine on his lips; but when he finally woke up he felt born again.Everything felt perfect.
He opened his eyes to the grinning sun blazing with all its glory and a pale blue sky with candyfloss clouds that looked like they could be plucked out of the sky and eaten. The sand at his back and legs was soft and warm from the sun’s rays, and the sea glinted in acknowledgment that this was, indeed, a perfect day.
He didn’t know where he was but that didn’t bother him. His mind was clear for the first time in ages. He still retained all his memories, but the knowledge that he was the Creator was meaningless to him now. He rolled onto his side to look at the sea lap serenely at the shore; the hissing and gristling of the tide on the pebbles soothing away all his previous worries and concerns. All the time that he spent with Onyx, the weight of the responsibility; it had been too much for him to bear and when he was finally faced with the truth of what Bellkipeg was his mind had cracked; he had blacked out completely only to wake up in this… paradise!
He knew that there was no way that Bellkipeg could die when he was safe; for if he was truly “The Creator” and their destinies were inextricably linked then it made sense! He laughed at Onyx’s delusions.
Alex no longer had any compunction to save anything or anyone. All he wanted was to be left alone, and the only destiny he truly cared about was his own. He turned on to his back once more, smiled at the sun again and went back to sleep.
When he opened his eyes again it was night time, the full moon lazily casting its reflection on the calm sea. Alex felt the need to explore his surroundings a little more and the moon provided enough illumination for him to walk around without bumping into anything.
Brushing the sand from him as he got up, he walked to the water’s edge. The sea was so serene, peacefully lapping at the shore with gentle whispers as the waves withdrew. Alex walked along by the wave’s ebb watching the moons reflection ripple in the wake. He knew that like the island, he had no cares in the world, no responsibility. He stopped and stared into a lone tide pool and saw his own reflection stare back at him; an echo of his former self it looked lost and alone, completely the opposite of how he felt. He picked up a small pebble and dropped it in, scattering his mirrored self into fluctuations; he shivered as the image reverberated.
It was like a children’s flicker book, the ripples had shattered the serene surface into a staccato stroboscope. In some of the images Alex could see himself wearing a suit and tie; another had him in faded jeans and t-shirt and then in some of them there was a strange man standing behind him, one minute wearing a tatty raincoat, looking dishevelled and unkempt and in others he seemed to have deer’s antlers growing from the top of his head. Alex stepped back and turned round. There was nobody there and he felt a pang of loneliness, a loss as if it were part of himself that he’d temporarily mislaid.
The tide pool was now fogged with sand and a viscous oily substance that had swallowed the moon. Alex found another pebble to throw into the pool when the oily slick moved away from him as if predicting his next move. Unnerved by this he took a step away and dropped the pebble onto his bare foot. The sharp pain made him wince and look away for a second, when he turned back again the moon had returned, glimmering as if nothing had happened.
76)
Days passed in an idyllic haze. Alex was far happier than he’d been in ages; it was like a mantra, something that he said to himself each morning before he opened his eyes, and this morning was no different. It didn’t matter that he was alone on the island, in fact he now realised he was happiest when he was on his own.
He cautiously got to his feet and felt the blood rushing to his head. He walked slowly to the water’s edge, as he did so every morning. This morning however there appeared to be an oily black film on the sea that moved counter to the tide; it never got any closer to him, it just stayed in one place as if it were spying on him. He laughed at his paranoia; even in paradise he still tried to think the worst and, sure enough, when he looked back there was nothing on the sea except for the gently rising and falling swells.
He laughed again at the way his mind was still trying to tie itself up in knots. For the first time, he was happy but there was still a part of him that couldn’t accept that good things could happen to him. He pinched himself and laughed again at the discomfort it caused: This was real. He was happy, so it was time to enjoy it! He’d been on the island for an age now and had never explored it, and now was as good a time as any!
Walking into the lush vegetation that almost surrounded the beach he marveled at the vibrancy of it all. The verdant green fronds created a cool haven. He was safe; there was nothing on the island to hurt him, so there was no reason to worry, or fret. He could be at peace with himself and enjoy living truly in the moment. Alex explored the island for hours at an end, and in almost every direction.
The only place he never ventured was into the sea; it never appealed to him. The only time that he felt truly nervous was when he had tried to paddle and even the waves seemed to be afraid of him for they retreated in a black, viscid motion. Time ceased to have any meaning for him, there was enough for him to eat and drink. It was heaven. He sat with his back against a tree, staring out at one of the streams that threaded its way through the heart of the island, and thinking about Onyx and what Allura had taught him. There was still some regret about what he had done.
“As well there should be, my friend.” A deep voice replied from nowhere, disrupting his reverie. “And you won’t be able to find me so don’t try your gazing routine; your whole sense of perspective is skewed at the moment!”
Alex was shocked at this, he knew there was no one in sight; he would have noticed for sure!
“Of course you would.” The voice replied sarcastically. “Try focusing your gaze to the branch on your right, and if you’re perceptive then you’ll see me!”
Alex had half a mind just to get up and leave; this was too similar to the tricks that Onyx used to pull, but he was curious about who or what the voice belonged to so he looked to the branch as he was told. It was just a branch, a stick of wood attached to a tree with some leaves growing out of it. And a caterpillar, standing almost erect, winking at him
“No…. I don’t believe it!” Alex exclaimed. The caterpillar shook its tiny head at him.
“After all you’ve been through, you still don’t believe your own eyes?” The Caterpillar said, with a sarcastic overtone.
“But… I mean, c’mon… you’re a caterpillar!”
“And?” There was now mock hurt in his voice, but Alex realised the caterpillar was right; after all that he’d been through he still came to snap decisions. He laughed at himself. “That’s more like it, Creator. Now we can talk.”
“Even though you’ve got no mouth?” Alex asked cheekily, he wasn’t going to let this phase him anymore. He was in paradise and nothing was going to change that.
“I’m afraid that you’re about as wrong as you can be, on both counts, Creator.” The Caterpillar replied. “I do have a mouth; I just don’t happen to talk through it… and this isn’t paradise…. Don’t let the pretty pictures fool you. You are in more danger here than you’ve ever been…. We both are.” Alex was surprised by the caterpillar’s reaction.
“Why? Nothing’s going to hurt me here!” He replied.
“It’s been too long since you’ve seen the world properly…” The Caterpillar stated. “And please stop referring to me as The Caterpillar. Call me Narhuat.”
“Why are we in danger?” Alex demanded.
“You know why, Creator… but you have hidden yourself from the truth for too long.” Narhuat said. “It seems that we can not talk freely as your mind is still too closed. You must leave me now… It’s too dangerous for me when you are not centred. Think about why you are here and see what is around you. Then we will meet again.”
“How will I find you?” Alex asked.
“You will know…” Narhuat replied. “And if you were truly centred then you wouldn’t have even asked.” With that he inched quickly away leaving Alex bemused.
77)
He hadn’t realised how late it was during the day, the sun was setting and he needed to be back at the beach before it got dark. He walked off dejectedly pondering Narhuat’s last statement: “If you were centred then you wouldn’t have even asked.” What did he mean by that?
The next morning Alex lay on his side with his eyes closed, listening to the waves on the shore. He felt the sun gently stroke his face and smelt the brine on the air, but it did nothing to calm his mind. He had a good life now, with everything he needed at his disposal, but for some reason he couldn’t block out the conversation he had with Narhuat. The tone of it reminded him so much of his time spent with Onyx.
Alex wanted to dismiss the little caterpillar’s remarks and carry on as he had been, but he couldn’t. Had he changed that much? Narhuat had been almost pleased to see him when they first met, but that soon turned to dismay, as if he had been let down by something.
Alex wanted to forget the caterpillar’s comments and return to the blissful ignorance he’d know upon first waking up on the island, but he couldn’t. Was it ignorance that he’d felt, or simply a complicity? But if that was truly the case then why had Narhuat warned him that he was in more danger here?
Alex thought back to the tide pool; the reflections that he had seen in the water as the pebble had dashed the serene surface. He recalled an earlier time when he was at the mercy of the Vaurac. What wasn’t he seeing now? He knew that there was no point exploring the island any more, it would only serve to strengthen the illusion; and there would be no point in searching for Narhuat unnecessarily. Alex wasn’t grounded enough to do that properly and would only make things worse. He would find the little caterpillar when the time was right and he was ready.
In truth there was only one thing that Alex could do and that was to find a way to centre himself and see behind the illusion. He sat down on the tip of a sand dune overlooking the sea. The sun was high in the sky and the reflections skittered off the waves creating a pattern that was quite bewitching. The waves moved in a slow motion dance, creating stirs and eddies that furthered this feeling of blissful enchantment.
It took all of Alex’s concentration and willpower to force himself to look away, he knew now that Narhuat was, indeed, correct. Everything was not as it seemed. Alex closed his eyes until he was barely squinting; now the sea no longer held him enraptured and by blinking steadily he could shift his focus without losing concentration.
He sat gazing at the middle distance for hours, constantly shifting his line of sight and the position of his legs. He never for one minute questioned his rationale and the longer he kept his gaze the sea. He didn’t know what he was looking for but constantly gazed, focusing on nothing in particular.
Soon he realised that there were no birds flying in the skies; nothing floating either on the sea itself or splashing within –no fish! That struck him as unnerving, and just then, at the corner of his eyes, he caught a movement that was so subtle he would never have seen it consciously. Shifting his gaze cautiously so he wouldn’t lose focus he knew that what he had seen wasn’t a trick of the light.
There was a viscous film that coated the surface of the sea like a petroleum slick, but whose oozing and rolling motion ran contrary to the movement of the waves underneath. It was then that Alex knew, without a doubt, that both he and Narhuat were in mortal danger.
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