78)
It was the Deluge that covered the sea in front of him and Alex knew that it had been hypnotising him through the suns reflection on the sea. Alex had to fight every instinct in him to run away, for with this revelation he suddenly remembered how he had become a prisoner on the island. Now he knew the truth Alex had to be more careful than ever. He could not act any differently than normal; he could not let the Deluge know that he had changed at all otherwise it would surely spell disaster for both himself and Narhuat.
Alex had to keep his awareness levels up at all times and not fall under the spell. This meant finding Narhuat and discovering a way to lose themselves in the forest. Alex knew now that there were caves which would provide shelter for them both, and it was there where he would find Narhuat. But now was not the time for the sun was starting to set and for Alex to wander into the forest now would be to raise suspicion.
Alex closed his eyes. He knew that as long as he could keep up the pretense of normality he would be safe and the Deluge would remain dormant. He also knew that there was nothing else he could do and, therefore, nothing to worry about. The past didn’t hold him, and neither did his future... and with that in his mind Alex laid onto his back, closed his eyes and went to sleep.
He woke slowly and in stages, aware that upon waking he would start to fall into the Deluge’s trance state again. He knew that the frequency of the pulses on the water were always at their strongest when he woke up. They were violent in intensity but almost subliminal.
Alex was able to counter the effects of the pulses by blinking his eyes in rapid succession, in order to match the frequency of the waves. It was initially hard work to control, but with practice he could do it automatically. Once he had reached that stage he knew he would be safe to find Narhuat.
Upon standing, Alex tried to keep as close to his natural routine as possible. Great efforts were made to observe the minutiae of his routines lest the Deluge become aware that something was amiss. He then walked into the forest to find him; knowing exactly where he would be: in the cave system, hiding in a small alcove deep within.
Alex carefully walked in to the cavern and sat with his back resting on the wall, his shoulders just below the alcove. He felt Narhuat inch his way onto his shoulder.
“I must say that I’m glad that you have finally come to your senses, Creator.” He said. “You did have me a little worried.”
“Yes.” Alex replied. “And I’m sorry.”
“Truth be told, it wasn’t your fault entirely. No one knew how you would react when you were faced with the news of your doppelganger. That was one of the reasons the Unicorns were chosen to deliver the message to you.” Narhuat explained. “They are beyond reproach and you knew that. There could never have been any doubt in your mind that they were telling the truth.”
“And that was what made it so hard for me to take.”
“The time for recriminations is over.” Narhuat consoled. “Now is a time for transformation.” He smiled wryly.
“What do you mean?”
“Surely you know enough about my physiology to ask such a question. You must know what caterpillars change into!”
“Of course!”
“Surely you know then that any form of transformation is forbidden by The Presence. Once sensed, the Deluge will do everything it can to destroy me and prevent this from happening. In my chrysalis form I will be far more vulnerable to attack which is why I have hidden in the caves. This will offer me more time and a little more protection, I hope.”
“But I will protect you.” Alex interrupted.
“Yes, you will.” Narhuat replied, pleased with his response. “You have remembered your power, Creator, but it is still under your conscious control and you still take great effort to effect these changes. Your final battle with the Deluge will take its toll on you for it will be both an external and an internal, psychic battle; but you must not falter. Use your strength and fight with understanding, love and courage; but most important of all, you must fight with your light!
"Remember, you will not be alone. You are never alone, even in The Darkest moment.” Alex nodded, feeling the energy course through his very fibers as Narhuat spoke. “I, myself… I am feeling some fear, to be sure… With such a radical transformation it is only natural… Whilst in my chrysalis form I will cease to be a caterpillar and will actually be reduced to something without form, a fluctuating fluidic entity, much like the Deluge, but with the ultimate potential for good. I will then slowly reform into a butterfly, my transformation complete.”
“Will that be painful?” Alex asked.
“What transformation isn’t?”
79)
“What do you know about my metamorphosis, Creator?” Narhuat asked.
“If I’m honest, not much; all I really know is that you build yourself a chrysalis and become a butterfly, but I always assumed that the caterpillar simply grew wings.”
“Were it that simple.” Narhuat shook his tiny body slowly. “It’s much more complex and mirrors all forms of transformation. First, as you rightly said, comes the chrysalis stage which could be seen as a shedding of skin, as I have done on many occasions. Each occasion is a casting off of the old and unwanted, and it takes time for the new skin to dry and harden. This time the last vestments of my former self will disappear and I will be totally encased in my chrysalis. There I will be slowly transformed by a contradictory and wonderful magic.
“Whilst entombed I will be broken down on a cellular level, literally eaten from the inside by my digestive juices… can you imagine such a process?” Narhuat asked. Alex shook his head, trying to understand. It seemed fantastic. “I can see this surprises you, Creator. However as this is happening I am also growing anew, for those same juices are converting those parts of my physical body that are no longer needed into food for the new growth, which will happen at a rapid rate. Many of the cells will have been dormant through all of my evolutionary stages but will have existed in me as potential. Now, through this process they will grow and these cells will divide and sub-divide at an alarming rate as I will be made anew.
“What was once a lowly caterpillar will become a new entity entirely, in which all vestiges of the old me will cease to be. When it is finally time for me to be born again
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it will take a huge amount of will to free myself from my cocoon, and in any normal situation it would take hours for me to be free and even then I will have to wait for my wings to harden.
“I will be vulnerable to the world then, at my weakest when I have so much to gain; but isn’t that always the way?” Alex was amazed by the sheer complexity of the transformation, he had never realised that it would be so magical, or painful. “But this is the process for all transformation, Creator. You must see that now.”
“How so?”
“As far as individualistic growth is concerned, you go through changes where you have to shed the beliefs and practices that once held true to you. The process is slow and inhibits you until the realisation dawns on you that these beliefs are no longer part of you, they are no longer true and therefore you can shuck them off and shed them like a skin. This is often a painful experience and afterwards you will feel vulnerable.
“This happens a number of times until you understand that in order for you to truly move on you will need to transform as well. You will then move into your chrysalis stage and there you will be able to look at your life, take it apart and digest on those decisions you made and life paths chosen.
“You will think about the wrong paths that you have taken and feel your ego, your sense of who you were, disintegrate until you find those parts of you that hold the unlimited potential, and only then will you be able to build on them. Only then will you be able to become… But even then that will not be the end for you, you will still have to break out of your cocoon, your chrysalis. You must want to be free, and then once you have broken free you will have to harden yourself to the elements, become strong so you can soar on the winds of your destiny.”
Alex was in awe of Narhuat’s knowledge and understanding; he felt it with every pore of his body and he knew that it was time for his transformation to happen as well. His whole existence had been leading to this very moment.
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“I know you are ready, Creator, I feel it so strongly. But we must be careful.” Narhuat cautioned. “Ordinarily the process of metamorphosis would take days, but we do not have that luxury. The moment the Deluge senses this happening it will seek out and destroy us. I will need you to protect and empower me, as well as yourself.”
“How can I do this?” Alex asked.
“You must send me your light, your strength and your healing energies. Focus on me. Bathe me entirely in your light and love, and this will speed up my transformation. However, at the same time you must use what you learnt with Onyx and put a barrier up around us that the Deluge will not be able to penetrate. Use your light to envelop us in a sphere. In order to do this you must tap into the very roots of Bellkipeg, as you have been previously been shown.
“This will be very dangerous as you will be projecting your energy on three fronts: sending me healing and transformative energies, protecting us from the Deluge and also furthering your own personal transformation.”
Alex looked perplexed by this last statement.
“Do you not realise that my metamorphosis is mirroring your own? Where mine is manifesting on a physical level, yours is spiritual. You have been moving towards this for a long time; your whole life in fact, Creator. As above, so below. Sometimes you can grasp this easily, but there are times, like now, that you falter.”
“I don’t think I’m ready for this, Narhuat.” Alex admitted.
“In your heart you know you are.” Narhuat replied. “When I next see you, Creator, it will not be through my eyes, but those of a stranger. I, Narhuat, will cease to be. I fear this change, of course I do. Only a fool would undergo this without feeling fear, but I will not be held prisoner by it and it does not control me. Will you let your fear best you, hold you in its thrall or will you break free from the shackles that keep you in bondage and a slave to your fears? You have come so far to turn back now. When you finally realise yourself you will truly become the Creator!"
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Alex knew that Narhuat spoke the truth; this was the time for transformation. This was what Onyx and Allura, had been leading Alex towards. Alex now had the task of protecting Narhuat through his dark night of the soul. He had never realised that the caterpillar underwent actual cellular transformation, but on the deepest level it made perfect sense. It was impossible to build on outmoded concepts, far better to deconstruct and break down in order to build anew.
“I’m ready.” He said to Narhuat. “Thank you for allowing me this honour.”
“It is I who should be thanking you, Creator. It is an honour to be instrumental in your final change.” Narhuat bowed before saying. “And you have been ready for some time.” Alex smiled and bowed back to the strangely wise caterpillar and visualised a bubble of golden light surrounding him. He placed his hands so they gently laid on the surface of the bubble, projecting his energy through.
“I bid you goodbye, Creator; until we meet again for the first time.”
Like a stop-motion animation Alex watched as Narhuat convulsed, his whole body contorting once; twice; three times, pulsating; each muscle expanding and then contracting like a wave travelling the length of his tiny body. With the convulsions Alex could see a gossamer layer of skin detach itself slowly from Narhuat’s body and slowly shuck off with the final convulsion.
When the skin had finally been shed all that was left was a leathery looking pod, the cocoon that Alex could see pulsate slowly with a green luminescent light, a sign of Narhuat’s life force. The colour of the cocoon changed from a lime green to a mottled brown as it dried and hardened.
He heard a deafening roar, a sound that cut through the air like a banshees howl from the depths of hell itself: A howl of tormented anger, hate and spite. The Deluge had awoken to Narhuat’s transformation and would soon find them both. Alex had to be ready and protect Narhuat else they both fall prey to its evil, and with them would die
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the final chance of Bellkipeg.
With each stage of the transformation Alex felt himself linked with Narhuat’s consciousness; his own awareness was expanding. He felt the fear of discorporatation; felt his own soul dissolve and then devolve, his memories scattering out in front of him and the ultimate irony as he finally understood who he was.
The Deluge swarthed out of the water, absorbing the mass of the sea around it to become more powerful than it had ever been. As it rolled and oozed onto the land it devoured everything in its path, leaving behind it a dead landscape. It was the only way that it could be sure that it was powerful enough to stop the transformation. This time there would be no error for even if the caterpillar escaped there would be nowhere else for it to hide, there would be no hope for Bellkipeg this time.
With each of Narhuat’s convulsions Alex felt it in his very soul: repressed memories surfaced in his mind; instrumental in shaping his personality from years ago. Disappointments, betrayals, helplessness, and rejections; each causing gradual isolation and despondent depression. Each memory was stripped away from him like flash-cuts; pizzicato images strobing into the distance until he could finally shuck away the skin of dead memories that no longer held him. That which he had striven so hard to find no longer meant anything to him. They held him back and could now be discarded leaving the raw self to harden.
The Deluge knew where Alex had hidden, there was only one way out and once surrounded they were trapped.
Alex sensed the Deluge outside and extended another sphere of golden light covering himself and the entrance of the cave. No longer limited by the disappointments of the past and the failures of the present he knew that the Deluge could not force its way through. So he concentrated on the chrysalis, aware now that Narhuat was no more. He had been broken apart on that cellular level, now just protoplasmic ooze. The
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cocoon pulsated again and Alex shivered in harmony. Just then the Deluge smashed into his barrier of light with an almighty roar that Alex felt through his very pores. The roar was one of thwarted frustration. Now Alex would face the real test; like Narhuat he had to affect his own transformation to his most primal self with the very predatory darkness ready to devour him should he fail.
The whole cavern was now in total darkness save for the light that Alex projected. It was impossible for him to know what time of day it was, or how long he had been guarding Narhuat. He still felt the energy flowing from himself into Narhuat, affecting his transformation and he wondered how long he could carry on protecting them both.
He had seen the energy that Onyx had projected when they first encountered the Deluge and remembered his own barrier against the fog but neither Alex nor Onyx had been able to sustain it for long periods of time.
Alex also knew that the Deluge’s energy lay not only in its size and power but in its own ability to project and smother the environment, laying waste not only on a physical basis but also psychically as well. He could feel it now crawling into the darkest recesses of his mind.
He shifted his position, being careful not to take his hands away from the sphere encircling Narhuat. Sitting cross-legged he made sure that his back was to the mouth of the cave. As long as Alex kept the circle of light strong he was sure that they were in no danger.
Silence fell over the cave. Suddenly it was shattered by the sound of first one stone rebounding across the wall in front of him and then another. He ignored them, it was impossible to tell if this was really happening or simply a hallucination caused by the Deluge. Then Alex heard a voice that was unmistakable.
“Creator, listen to me.” It was Allura. Alex wanted so much to turn around and embrace her, but he knew that he couldn’t and daren’t. “It’s all your fault, you hear me? I blame you! I should’ve killed you when I had the chance…” Alex could
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scarcely believe what he was hearing; it was unthinkable that Allura could be saying such things. “The Mirror of Sfel? It was a trap! It held a sliver of the Deluge within its matrix. When we opened ourselves to it my whole village was consumed by their own fear and anger. I’m the only survivor, and it’s all your fault!” Alex shivered at such accusations. He was about to turn round and remonstrate with her but then realised that such a thing could not be true. There was no way for the mirror to be possessed by the Deluge.
Hearing Allura’s voice had created a longing in him that he had not anticipated. He had been without human companionship for what seemed like an age. Even though he had been a solitary man in the past, there were times that he had wished to be amongst people, but he had never fit in. He often felt alienated and isolated; no matter how hard he had tried to become close to people.
It was that feeling that was stirring inside him now. It had started off as a flutter deep inside and soon he could feel it crawl over his skin like a jilted lover, leaving him ever colder. He tried to intensify his efforts to harness the energy inside of him but the more he concentrated the deeper the feeling became. Then to his horror he saw the wall in front of him shimmer. He could no longer see Narhuat suspended in his cocoon, instead the wall slowly coalesced, and warped until it formed a mirror where Alex saw himself reflected back with naked clarity.
He saw himself sitting in the heart of a gigantic bubble of light and it gave him such strength that he was capable of generating such power, but then the image became distorted. Something was wrong; the image became darker, but not from the edges where Alex expected, but from the centre, from Alex himself. He could feel the reflection warp and wend as he saw the darkness emanate from his very heart; from deep within himself.
“You are not strong enough, boy.” He heard a voice say. “See the dark you hold within will destroy everything around you. It has already defeated you for you ARE
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The Presence. You can not deny it any longer, and as you embrace the darkness from within so the Deluge will embrace and claim you for its own.” Alex saw his whole body fade, the light in him slowly dying and as it did so, the circle of light around him becoming smaller and darker.
There was nothing he could do, Alex was not strong enough, he was being consumed from within, trapped by this cocoon of total darkness that was now constricting him; growing small with every breath, with every heartbeat. Alex saw all this happening before him in the deformed mirror and knew that there was no way he could sustain this level of attack anymore. His energy was all but depleted; never before had he felt so small and so powerless. Like the small child that had been consumed by the Deluge when he had first entered Bellkipeg, now everything had come full circle. Now he was being consumed from within, just as Narhuat was.
And then the revelation hit him, this was not just another trick of the Deluge, it was his own long dark night of the soul. The Deluge was manipulating the light to produce hallucinations in the same way it had used the waves to create the hypnotic state at the beach but it was also mirroring Alex’s own transformation, as he was facing the dark inside himself.
He knew now of The Presence that he held in himself, just as there is darkness inherent in every living organism; but he knew that The Presence was nothing to be afraid of. It could not exist without the light for the darkness defined the light, it was the ultimate source of the lights power and majesty; and it could never truly win for its energy was only a denser vibration: it could only entrap and deplete; depress and pervert. The light came from with, but it was of a much higher vibrational energy; it existed in the space between and gave hope; was eternal and transformative.
And Alex knew that he was a part of that light, of the love, and his energy, his light was simply an extension and projection of that light and could never be depleted, could never weaken or be extinguished. His light, his love, his power was all
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encompassing and as this awareness was dawning in him so too could he see Narhuat’s cocoon shudder and convulse as the time of his incubation was over. Now was the time for the hatching; the birth of the new soul.
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